Why the heck do we even set new year resolutions? After a few weeks most of us quit going to the local gym, or realize it’s too hard to change a bad habit. Maybe we just set too many and aim for perfection and feel defeated when we fall short, instead of perhaps, aiming for over-all improvement, instead.
What if we look at new years resolution as a way to give us direction for how we want to improve our lives and grow as an individual? Or as physical ways to measure our discipline and commitment?
Like most people, I used to think of all the things I wanted to change in my life, and felt like January 1st was a clean slate for the new year and a great time to create better habits. I used to get really excited with the New Year coming up, and I would set a LOT of goals… after all, I had the whole year to work on them, right? I was going to exercise more, lift heavier weights, do this more, add some more of that, stop doing this, etc… After a few weeks, maybe even months, I would burn out, lose focus, the original excitement and the dopamine hits would drop each time I didn’t follow-through. Then I would finally quit most of my new year resolutions altogether. Does this sound familiar?
However, each year there seemed to be 1 or 2 resolutions that would stick with me and I would be really successful at them, and sometimes even surpass the goal I set. Over time, I recognized a few things that helped me achieve my goals and have continued to use them because they really work!
If you’re considering setting new year resolutions, I want you to set goals for YOU; resolutions that feel good and aren’t just “shoulds”. When someone says the word “goal”, how does it make you feel? What comes to mind? If you notice that you’re resisting it – then don’t set that goal!
You might have goals related to your weight, nutrition, or being more present as a mother, maybe you want to stop yelling, and feel more connected in your marriage. Do you want to call family members more often, spend less time on your phone, read more, connect with God more, stop certain bad habits, or have a better house cleaning system? How does it feel just thinking about all of those things? Do you notice the mental/emotional weight of trying to carry it all?
If you’re like me, then you probably want…
Better balance being a mother, wife, and yourself.
Quality connection with your children, family, and self.
Improved health to be able to do, or continue doing, the things you want to do.
The best tip I have for setting new years resolutions is to take the time to set them and ask God.
Here’s how I do it, and I think this will help you too.
- Find some quiet time and sit by yourself. This could be in the car, in the bathroom, or when you first wake up. Sit with yourself and notice what comes to your mind.
- Ask God, “What is one or two things I can do, or focus on, that will effect ALL the areas I want to improve?” Then listen/pay attention to what comes to you. You might be listening for days or it might come real quick! You will know what is right for you as you sit with it and feel it harmonize with who you are and what you want.
- Ask yourself and God, “How do I want to feel over the next year?” For me, in the last few years it has come as a single word. I made that my word for the year. Each month I think about that word, and how I want to feel, and then 1-3 things come to mind that I can focus on that month. Then, I break those down into actionable steps. For Example: Last year my word was Balance. At the beginning of each month I took some quiet time and “listened” for the things that came to my mind that I would work on. One month was cleaning up my thoughts around money. The actionable steps were to notice when I spoke negatively, forgive myself and then reframe the sentence. The other was to practice joy when I needed to do bookkeeping and not think it was a burden.
I think what happens is, when we set a whole bunch of resolutions at the beginning of the year, it is overwhelming because there are SO many steps to accomplish each goal. Plus, they are usually such big goals that it takes many smaller goals to help us actually achieve what we really want. Doing this process helps simplify our desires in a way that is true to who we are. When you take the time to listen to yourself and God (He knows you best!), a lot of the other things like relationships and opportunities fall into place.
Once you have a few goals set along the lines to have better balance, quality connection, or improved health, you’ll want some resources to teach and support you throughout the year!
I want to share a few resources that will help you…
Nutrition Resources:
- Study Wise Traditions 11 Principles – Everything that traditional peoples did with their food resulted in the maximization of nutrients—from their agricultural practices to their food choices, to their preparation techniques. We can do the same with our modern diets—it just requires care in purchasing our foods and attention to detail when we prepare them.
- Wise traditions podcast – The Wise Traditions podcast is for those who seek optimal health based on ancient wisdom. We believe that vibrant health cannot be cultivated in a lab, engineered through modern technology or found through “improving” nature. On the contrary, “life in all its fullness is Mother Nature obeyed,” as Dr. Price put it. We thrive when we live as our ancestors did, and we can look to the past for clues on how to go about it.
- Elisa at Best Me Coaching – 1:1 Coaching Sessions, Personalized wellness coaching tailored to help you achieve your weight and fitness goals. With personalized meal plans and personalized fitness guidance, you will be provided a roadmap and support to unlock your best self.
Nutrition Books:
- Carnivore Cure by Judy Cho – Carnivore Cure provides a step-by-step approach to optimal health while also providing extensive nutritional information and evidence-based support for following a meat-based lifestyle (with hundreds of colored visuals and coveted Nutrition with Judy nutritional graphics). Carnivore Cure debunks nutritional misinformation and provides lifestyle support through the lens of holistic health.
- The Big Fat Surprise by Nina Teicholz – For decades, Americans have cut back on red meat and dairy products full of “bad” saturated fats. We obediently complied with nutritional guidelines to eat “heart healthy” fats found in olive oil, fish, and nuts, and followed a Mediterranean diet heavy on fruits, vegetables, and grains. Yet the nation’s health has declined. What is going on?
- Toxic Superfoods by Sally Norton – A complete, research-backed program to safely reverse your oxalate load. In this groundbreaking guide, Norton reveals that the popular dictum to “eat more plants” can be misleading. Toxic Superfoods gives health-seekers a chance for improved energy, optimum brain performance, graceful aging, and true relief from chronic pain.
- Nutrition And Physical Degeneration by Weston A Price – An epic study demonstrating the importance of whole food nutrition, and the degeneration and destruction that comes from a diet of processed foods. For nearly 10 years, Weston Price and his wife traveled around the world in search of the secret to health. Instead of looking at people afflicted with disease symptoms, this highly-respected dentist and dental researcher chose to focus on healthy individuals, and challenged himself to understand how they achieved such amazing health.
Parenting Resource :
- Simply on Purpose – Bringing joy back into parenting and family life. Believer in kitchen dance parties. Look for the good. Audio Course + Webinars.
- The Child Whisperer Blog – Every child is unique. The Child Whisperer book and podcast help you customize your parenting, for more joy and cooperation with less burnout.
- A Thomas Jefferson Education – Support, Resources and Mentoring to establish
your ideal Family Education Culture.
Parenting Books:
- Hold on to Your kids In Hold On to Your Kids, Dr. Neufeld and Dr. Maté explore the phenomenon of peer orientation: the troubling tendency of children and youth to look to their peers for direction – for a sense of right and wrong, for values, identity and codes of behavior. But peer orientation undermines family cohesion, poisons the school atmosphere, and fosters an aggressively hostile and sexualized youth culture. It provides a powerful explanation for schoolyard bullying and youth violence; it is an escalating trend that has never been adequately described or contested until Hold On to Your Kids. Once understood, it becomes self-evident – as do the solutions.
- How to talk so kids will listen and listen so kids will talk (there is a teen version as well) – Enthusiastically praised by parents and professionals around the world, Faber and Mazlish’s down-to-earth, respectful approach makes relationships with children of all ages less stressful and more rewarding.
- Wild Things: The Art of Nurturing Boys – Addresses the physical, emotional, and spiritual parts of a boy, written by two therapists who are currently engaged in clinical work with boys and their parents and who are also fathers raising five sons. This book contains chapters such as “Sit Still! Pay Attention!”, “Deficits and Disappointments”, and “Rituals, Ceremonies, and Rites of Passage”.
Self Development:
- Dressing Your Truth – Will help you know your truth and create a personal style that tells the world, “This is who I really am.” When you discover your Type of beauty, amazing things happen. You understand yourself better. You find strengths you didn’t know you had. And you can express who you are with a style to match. It’s a transformative process.
- Alicia Kathleen Emotional Freedom Coaching – (website is under construction, find her on Instagram HERE) 1:1 Coaching, Empowering women to master their emotions and thoughts to show up as their best selves and heal their life experiences.
Self Development Books:
- Remembering Wholeness -In this 20-Year Anniversary Edition, Carol shares two decades of added insight — with new sections added to the original book. Each updated chapter shares new insight, along with personal lessons from putting this book’s principles into practice. It will help you do the same, so that you can let go of struggle and live a life of joy.
- 12 Rules for Life – Jordan Peterson – Dr. Peterson journeys broadly, discussing discipline, freedom, adventure, and responsibility, distilling the world’s wisdom into 12 practical and profound rules for life. 12 Rules for Life shatters the modern commonplaces of science, faith, and human nature while transforming and ennobling the mind and spirit of it’s readers.
In addition to discovering new resources to support your goals, and this might sound like common sense, I have to mention how much I believe our health affects everything we do. If you know me, you know I am passionate about mental, emotional, physical, and spiritual health. I have been on quite the healthy journey and I can tell you that the years I spent being sick and mostly bed-bound, were not the years I was able to do many things I really wanted, and had to simplify and only do what really mattered to me. Using this method, my new year resolutions were more along the lines of “read more books with my children”, and “Meet Steve at the door each day with a kiss when he gets home”.
I wouldn’t be me if I didn’t mention how much eating nutrient-dense, truly clean animal-based diet has improved my life, because it was the key to improving my health. Having my health back has given me a beautifully fresh perspective on my role as a woman, mother, wife and individual. And I can confidently say that health supports every aspect of my life, and I think it’s safe to say yours, too.
I hope you are feeling excited about the upcoming year and have beautiful, ambitious goals that you can get excited about. Remember, that as you set goals, don’t overwhelm yourself and don’t force what you aren’t ready for. There are things we want and there are things we are actually ready for. Listen to the spirit and you will know which is which. When you are truly ready, those things will fall into place with greater ease than those things you are trying to force.
You’re amazing. And I can’t wait to hear all about your New Year’s resolutions!
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